On Christmas morning, as I sat in my warm home surrounded by little dogs, I received a text from my cousin who was still without power since last weekend’s storm. Her home has been cold for the past several days. As she and her husband head out of town to spend the day with family, her Christmas will not be lacking.

I consider myself close to my cousin and I knew that she lost power over the weekend, but I was unaware that she was still without power. Too often, we do not know the day to day details of the lives of the people to whom we are the closest.

As faculty members, we rightly know even less about the students who pass through our classrooms; students who—like us—lead complicated lives. However, unlike my cousin who has years of experience navigating the joys and difficulties of life, most of our students do not have such vast experience. Therefore, it is important that we provide a safe space for struggling students to develop strategies for success.

The argument that our job as faculty members is to teach our subject matter and that we cannot be responsible for our students’ lives outside the classroom does have merit. Yet such a position can be cited to justify a callousness that is unbecoming.

When students make poor decisions, there are those who essentially proclaim, “To hell with them. They’re adults.” In such cases, the bad decision is often taken as a personal affront which can lead to anger toward the student. However, like a person who tries to throw a hot coal, we are the ones burned by our anger; not our students.

Instead of becoming angry with students who become overwhelmed when they lose their power or whose personal lives interfere with their academic lives, we should attempt to react with understanding. Understanding does not mean that we must accept the student’s position. I can understand why a student makes a poor decision without condoning the actions that result from that decision.

Understanding fosters compassion and compassion makes it easier for us to direct students to the help that they require. Sometimes, assistance can take the form of tutoring or providing academic advice. At other times, we can direct students to the Learning Assistance Center or some other campus office. In more serious cases, we can help the student make an appointment with an academic counselor who is trained to deal with the student’s personal issues; something I do at least 10-15 times per semester.

Acting with compassion does not mean that students do not suffer the consequences of their actions. It is not always possible for a student to recover from a bad decision during a particular semester or in a particular course. However, our compassionate actions can lay the groundwork for future success.

As a faculty member, I can neither legally nor ethically care too much about the details of my students’ lives. Fortunately, acting with compassion does not require knowing personal details about our students. It does, however, require that we are willing to provide opportunities for students to learn skills that can bring equanimity into their lives.

On Christmas evening, my cousin posted a message in Facebook that she had returned home to heat and that the temperature in her house was already 46 degrees. She continued, “If you are without power and seek warmth, you are welcome here.” It is a sentiment that belongs on our office doors.

–Steven L. Berg, PhD

Photo Caption: Three of our little dogs enjoying Christmas.