After I decided to cancel tomorrow’s classes, I first sent students an e-mail message. I then called students who have their phone numbers registered with the college. I left a message for most—but not all—of the students with whom I was unable to speak in person.

“Why,” you might ask, “would I not leave a message for a student?” First, the answering machines of two students immediately put me on hold. I am not sure how long I was expected to wait for either or a human being or the opportunity to leave a message, but—with over 80 phone calls to make—I did not have time to sit and listen to music.

A second type of message was more problematic. This student had a comic answer her phone for her. When the comic started to tell a joke about a “pervert,” I hung up. I decided that I did not need to subject myself to offensive humor.

After hanging up on the pervert joke, I thought of a story my mother tells about making a phone call to offer someone a job. After listening to an offensive answering machine message, my mother hung up without leaving a message of her own.

I hope that when my student enters the job market, she removes the pervert joke from her answering machine.

–Steven L. Berg, PhD